Reasons For Love

Something important has come to my attention over the years with my contact with various people. This may not apply to all people but it does apply to the ones I have had daily interaction with on one level or the other. At first I thought my ears were simply missing part of our conversations. Maybe I wasn't giving my unabridged attention or simply misunderstood the conversations. Could it have been I just was hearing only what I wanted to or taking from the conversations only what I wanted to. Maybe I was, to my shock, actually hearing those conversations right and fully. This began to bother me, eat away at me and I had to do something about it.  So I started putting everything else aside and contributed all my focus on our conversations.

I began to make a study of these verbal meetings in depth. Kept a mental log and what I discovered was stunning as well as shocking. My Lord!  I wasn't misunderstanding our conversations but hearing these people correctly. The subject we most talked about was 'love' and the reasons why we LOVE....but mind blowing I found an underlying hidden truth that none was willing to let into the light of day and that's what lead me to write this article on 'love'. What I learned just might blow your mind too.

Would appreciate feed back from all readers.

THE REASONS OF LOVE

What do you love about the person you are with? A burning question with seemly many answers but which answer is truth and which is simply convenient. The many reasons for love is a gallery of masks we put on and take off as the mood and people hit us. What if you had to answer this without fault? In my life I've lived amid this blazing question and the people involved in it. I ,myself, have been involved in it's addiction; tumbling freefalling into the whirlwinds of it's arms and core: watching it played out before my very eyes. The drama, much of it so unnecessary yet so seeming a necessitate to all involved, the heart-break which destructed and rendered weak even the strongest of us. And what I've discovered has shocked my socks off, dumb-founded me and thrown me into a fit of rage, of the blindness we live this out in. I've seen what appeared to be smart-minded people walking in the dark of it, stumbling, struggling to keep their footing, searching for walls along the way to lead them in hope that they don't get lost.  

Many of us would and have killed for ones we love. Call it a crime of passion. How can a crime hold passion? Others will turn their backs on loved ones and lifelong friends, walk away from their children to keep it. Still many others will embarrass and put to shame themselves in public displays of fighting, arguing and rolling on the ground over a man that cares not. He will walk away with a third woman unbeknown to the two tearing each other apart on a dance floor or a parking lot. To their surprise and heart break neither one of them won him that night. Or, be put in danger in some woman's house by her live-in man or threatened by her jealous husband.

How can we do these things as people to other people. We say we love them because of what they do for us. Love them, because they gave us some sense of self. Love them because they make us feel good or the sex is great or they valued and respected us. Because she's fine or he's good looking and they have a great job or big bank account; because they'll make our children a good mom or dad. Someone has to love me because we need them, can't live without them. Well she wanted him and I just couldn't let her have him, because I saw him or her first. It's I don't want to be or sleep alone.

These are all reasons given for love. But are they the truth? Or am I often crazed with shock when told these answers from people I've heard and talked to. Why? They seem like very valid reasons to give, logic would testify very justly reasons to love your special ones. So why am I so crazed with shock over them? Valid question deserving a solid answer, so here's why. In all those reasons given me, their special ones were loved by them.

I only heard this one truth ring out loud. What I love most about them is what they have, will or can do for me! But I have never heard I love them most for who they are, the whole reason I love them is because they are them self and no one else. I love them for their faults and flaws and all their little imperfections. Love them when they are up and down, when they're at their best or worst. I love him/her when they get on my damn nerves and when they make me smile down to my soul. I love them when they're right as well as wrong. Love him/her when they get that little quirk in the corner of their mouth when they are trying to cover their real emotions in the disgust of them bullshitting and I know why. Love the silence that comes between us at times when we're mad at each other and the spoken cherished moments. Love how wild, untamed and free he/she is yet a steady person. Love them when they're a bastard and when he's a prince and she's a princess. I love them simply for who they are and will grow to be. Love them because I'm helpless in the face of the reality of their birth and I give thanks for their parent given birth to them. I love the man/woman alone. Period.

How can you truly love someone you don't know? Haven't taken the time to get to know? How can you love all the benefits that come along with that person and not love the person more. Can you tell me how you've answered this question in all the times and over the years about your loved ones when it was put to you? Was your answer, I Love WHAT HE/SHE DOES FOR ME OR I LOVE THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE.

J. Jade Huntress